Life is a challenge! Just when everything seems to be progressing well, something happens that causes us to question the choices we have made and the soundness of our judgments. In those moments of uncertainty we have the opportunity to reflect and redirect our lives. Those windows of opportunity break us out of the complacency of everyday life and provide us with the incentive to change the patterns of our behavior. We tend to view them as life trials and challenges, but in reality, they are a blessing.
If you are of a religious conviction, you might say it is God’s will or you might accuse others of creating the disruption in your otherwise peaceful life. Whatever the cause, what you fail to see is that it has been created for you, by you and for your benefit. These life trails are not punishments because of some past misdeed. They are events that allow you to gain insight into the progress you are making towards life’s one simple mission: unconditional love.
Some people misunderstand the mission and believe it is all about conditions they set. If you fulfill their laundry list of favorable attributes, then they will love you; if not, then you are unloved. Some believe they love someone despite the many undesirable traits they seem to exhibit, but what they really love is the idea of that person in a perfect world.
Too many times we fail to understand the objective of relationships and instead make up reasons why they won’t work. It is in these moments that we should take pause and reevaluate why we have created this impasse. What are we not learning that we are attempting to teach ourselves? What undesirable qualities of our own are we projecting upon this other person? If we leave that relationship, we will be confronted again with those elements of character in the next relationship, because they are ours.
Maybe you believe you can effect change in the other person, which will eliminate their perceived character flaws. The only change you can effect is in your attitude. Changing your attitude will solve the problem, because it is your attitude that is causing the problem in the first place. Relationships do not break, they can only change in context. A ‘good’ relationship can become a ‘bad’ relationship, but it is still a relationship. The difference between the two is your attitude.
Trials are always spiritual in nature. They test your faith and convictions and reflect your attitude and level of consciousness. Those that see the hand of God in everything have difficulty understanding how God could allow suffering and atrocities to happen in the world. Others can only shake their heads in disbelief that humans have the capacity to create such pain and adversity.
Growth does not come without its challenges; change always involves discomfort. Sometimes suffering can be a motivation to change and grow. Our ‘Higher Self’ has created these situation in our lives to show us the path to unconditional love. That is the only thing we need to learn and the only lesson worth learning. Every other lesson is only a prelude to that one great truth!
Unconditional love does not mean that you need to be a doormat and let everyone step on you and take advantage of you. It means that you still love them unconditionally, even when they are trying to cheat or inflict harm. In other words, don’t judge who they are by what they do. Have compassion for them in their ignorance and protect yourself against their intrusions. They may be blind to who they are as a spiritual being, but that doesn’t mean that you have to be. Love them for their innocent hearts and have compassion for the miscreations that clutter their minds. Sometimes love can best be expressed by providing meaningful consequences to inappropriate behavior. Judge them for their acts; not for their soul. Meaningful consequences should always be instructive in nature and afford opportunities for growth.
Life can be challenging, but it can be fulfilling and satisfying as well. What stage you are in the process will be determined by your life circumstances. Your spiritual self plans those circumstances carefully to create situations in your life which will lead you inexorably towards the fulfillment of your life’s ambition of unconditional love.